Love is a broad spectrum of emotion that encompasses a broad range of positive and negative emotional states, from the highest spiritual virtue to the lowest common human desire, the greatest common past-time or human experience. We all feel love when we are happy, sad or scared, when we are hurt or upset, or when someone treats us with respect. These emotions are the product of love in action, expression or intention. We feel love for our friends, family or other loved ones when they are kind, supportive, sympathetic or just present. We also feel love when we are physically treated with kindness, compassion, tenderness or when someone gives us something we desire or need.
Love is a daily beast though, it isn’t always easy to identify and describe. Often it takes some effort to get into the right frame of mind to express our love, to really let go of the need to control others and to let go of our own need to control our lives by expressing love. Yet, there is always that need, no matter how remote that need may be, to be loved. To make love feels like an imperative to survive, to thrive, to be happy and to have our needs met.
When you first meet a person, you may be entirely caught up in your own perception of the world around you. Your perception may be your primary love language, and your partner’s perception may be their primary love language. If you are not careful, then you can easily begin to talk yourself out of the relationship by expressing your lack of feeling in a way that makes you appear unkind, uncaring or self-important.
As a result, you may find that your partner starts to take you for granted, or worse, they start taking you for granted because you don’t share your intimate feelings with them. Intimacy is a wonderful thing. It adds sparkle to our lives and sparks life to move forward. However, if we are feeling shut down or unattractive because we are not sharing our intimate feelings with another person, then romance becomes more of an after thought. We get caught up in how we look or what we want from another person rather than becoming close and sharing our own needs.
Intimacy does not have to involve romance in order to be meaningful. Sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with another person does not have to be limited to a romantic relationship. In fact, it has been proven that people who have a healthy sense of intimacy in their relationships have better mental and physical health as well-as higher self-esteem and greater levels of well-being. Greater self-esteem and well-being lead to lower stress levels, which can lead to lower blood pressure, better overall cardiovascular health, and greater levels of well-being.
Interestingly enough, one of the ways that the brain regions responsible for loving and being loved are activated during romances and romantic relationships is through the part of the brain called the periaqueductal grey matter. This is the part of the brain that is said to be responsible for the “fight or flight” response. When this part of the brain is activated during romances and love moments, it triggers our natural instincts for survival. Therefore, when we are in a romantic relationship we are both more likely to experience intense feelings of love and need to be cared for. Emotional bonding is very important for long-term and even long-term relationships, so it is important that you do not overlook the emotional side of your relationships in favor of your romance.